Brandon’s Three Least Favorite Bands – Be Prepared to Be Offended

I recently talked about three awesome metal bands that exuded brutality in it it's finest form. Now, I'll talk about three terrible bands that exude aural brutality in it's worst form.

Let's talk awful. I'd rather listen to the screeches of a thousand hyenas for a week straight while naked and dehydrated in the blistering sun of an arid African savanna before being devoured by starving lions than have to endure any of the songs from the bands listed below.

NICKELBACK

Some of you may recall in the past (my News4U days) I've documented my disdain for this douchebag collective from Canda, AY. Well, as time has passed that disdain has not waned. Chad Kroeger makes me physically ill. And the fact they've sold more than 50 million albums worldwide nearly makes me lose my faith in humanity. People...just...keep...buying...their....shit...WHY!!!???

Their songs make me want to stab pencils as far into my ear canals as I can muster. But people love Chad and his crew, especially Avril Lavigne who ditched her corpse of a husband from the band Sum 41, Deryck Whibley (seriously, did you see that guy?) and joined the Nickelback train by becoming Chad's number one groupie. True Canadian love blossomed between a total tool and a sk8er girl. Barf bag.

TRAIN

Holy mother of shit, Drops of Jupiter has to be the worst song ever made. And Calling All Angels. And Hey, Soul Sister. And Meet Virginia. This band is like a walnut sized kidney stone that just keeps shredding my insides apart while I writhe in utter agony. I'd rather be bound to a telephone pole and stoned to death by members of my community than have to sit through one of Train's albums in its entirety. Here's hoping they derail in the near future.

NICKELBACK

Are there plenty of other viable options for a third shitty band? Sure. But Nickelback just sucks THAT BAD they justify two of the three slots of dreadful bands on this list. They are to music what Adam Sandler is to movies. Pure piles of putrid shit. But people keep shoveling out money hand over fist to see both. STOP IT!

If my denouncement of these bands has offended anyone, you need better taste in music.