Anti-masturbation devices, such as the one pictured up top, were used in the stained glass days of the Victorian sex age, where everyone from scholars, Catholic porno cults and Cloister prostitutes believed that masturbation caused the degeneration of civil society by inflicting the rosy palm populous with physical and mental disorders and venereal disease.

 

During the 1800s, it was thought that not only would the population eventually outstrip the food supply, but also that petting the old walrus in excess would cause serious strength deprivation and that bumping uglies actually diminished creative genius.

For these reasons, men were strongly encouraged to protect their vitality by avoiding sexual contact, masturbation, wet dreams and by limiting the number of orgasms they expelled in their marriages. That is where this copper anti-whacker with the pee hole colander comes into play.

Boys were forced to wear these boner proof vests to keep them from playing with themselves because masturbation was blamed for sickness and frailty, and one widely read authority even proclaimed that beating the old bishop caused masturbators to become withdrawn, flabby, pale, self-mutilating, afflicted by consumption and undoubtedly insane.

Trust us, you would have much rather have worn the peter armor than the alternative — penile cauterization was also commonly used to keep boys from displaying abnormal sexual excitation.