So far, my 56th year on this earth has been full of emotion, disappointment, and desperation. No other age has bothered me more than this one. It's not that I'm unhappy with my life, but I'm not focusing on what is vitally important to be happy.

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This year, just when I thought I was working toward advancement in my career, I suffered a setback. What I had hoped for and worked toward was not meant to be. Realizing what I had hoped for wasn't going to happen, made me feel hopeless and unworthy. It's been hard not to dwell on what might have been, but instead, focus on what I have now.

Personally, I'm living with the pain of missing my kids who have moved away, and my granddaughters. I want to be closer to them, see them more, and spend more time in their lives. I raised them to live their own lives wherever life takes them, but I find myself desperately missing the days when they were little, and I had them with me every day. Focusing on what I had instead of what I have is a struggle right now.

My emotions are out of control. Everything in my life is changing and change is hard. Yet, I feel like I'm desperate for a change, It's a weird time.

But, as I was scrolling through Instagram reels, I happened upon a clip from a TedTalk that helped me realize what I need to do and how I need to think to live in the moment,

The clip was the final thought of the speech. A prayer...

Choose to get up every single day and bless your day. And you say I have no idea what’s going to be in my day but it is blessed, why? Because I am alive. And don’t base your gratitude for your life on what you have or how you feel. But just because you are. Just because you are. Just because you are. And then hold in your heart this prayer. This day of my life will never come again. I will never see the people I am looking at again. I will never see this sunrise again and I will never see that sunset. I will never see the person having breakfast with me again. Just this way. You know, nothing in my life like this will ever come again. That alone, that choice alone should take out of your heart every bitter taste there is. That it should shape the life around you with such grace and such beauty. That will make you only want to see the present with great gratitude.

- Caroline Myss

The prayer reminds us to move beyond the past, don't worry about the future, and appreciate every moment because the moment will never happen again.

Listen to the entire TedTalk, here.

Read the transcript, HERE.

Peace be with you and me, in 2023.

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