Of all the things I expected to read or hear about today, this what not one of them. This was not even in the realm of possibilities. Yet here we are...

It was reported that 54-year-old Paul Houston was suspected in being a part of an organ trafficking network. Which makes sense, because Houston is a McLean County mortician. He would have access to as many organs as he wanted.

It was also reported that when the police went to search his home with a warrant, they expected to find just that: organs for the black market. But they found 218 embalmed penises in jars that Houston had been collecting from corpses for over 10 years. It took police seven hours to collect all of the organs and other pieces of evidence from the man's home. Houston has 53 criminal charges being filed against him so far. But the list could grow to be over 600. Houston is currently in custody and awaiting a psychiatric evaluation to determine if he is fit to stand trial.

Here's where it gets crazy. (Yes, THIS is where it gets crazy.) This story came from FoxNews-us.com but it turns out... it's a HOAX! According to SNOPES, "One clue that ought to have alerted readers to the hoax was the URL of the spoof website: foxnews-us.com (the legitimate URL of Fox News Channel’s website is www.foxnews.com)." It goes on to say, "Also, the story may have had a familiar ring to some of our readers. A search of our fact-check archive turned up a similar fabricated news item from 2017: “FBI Seizes Over 3,000 Penises During Raid at Morgue Employee’s Home.' The mugshot of the supposed perpetrator has been used to illustrate a number of junk news stories on various sites in the past."

There have also been other credible sources that have debunked the story.

So, guys, sleep tight knowing there isn't a penis predator on the prowl. Well, not one they've caught anyway.