How Duct Tape Saved A World Traveler’s Day

Picture it! It's about 3:45am. I am getting ready to walk out of my hotel room at room Select Sol in Madrid, Spain. Great boutique hotel, by the way. It has its own coffee shop in the lobby. Great location too! It's steps away from the Opera Metro stop.

Okay. Back to picturing it. My taxi is set to pick me up at 4am and drive me directly to the airport so I can begin my 24-hour journey home. The flights? Madrid to Frankfurt, Germany. Frankfurt to Chicago. Chicago to Owensboro, Kentucky. Despite the long day ahead, the impact's going to be pretty minimal. I plan to check my bag and the only thing I will have to carry with me is my backpack.

I've checked all the travel boxes. I accomplished my pre-flight bowel movement. I took a shower and got refreshed for the journey home. Everything was in order, or so I thought. As the saying goes, "the best laid plans of mice and men."

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After checking to make sure everything was packed in my suitcase, I went to zip it up. That's when I discovered that the zipper was completely busted and there was no fixing it. I thought, "Crap! Now what am I supposed to do? The taxi is going to be here in fifteen minutes. It's 3am in the morning. There aren't any stores open for me to buy a replacement. The zipper will NOT work. Expletive. Expletive. Expletive."

I stopped by my mom's hotel room to get her and take the elevator down. When she answered the door, I said, "Come on. We have a major problem."

Luckily, the young lady working the night shift at room Select Sol quickly thought of a solution. She said, "We may have some tape in the basement. Let me look."

Off she went, and within a couple of minutes, she returned with two rolls of tape. One was a roll of masking tape. That wasn't going to work. It's just not strong enough. My bag was clocking in at a hefty 40 pounds. The second choice, however, was a roll of black duct tape. That'll work! The only concern was just that there wasn't much left on the roll.

So, we went to work- so quickly that I was now sweating profusely and the freshness of my morning shower was oozing out of my pores and I was moments from a really bad case of swamp ass. We strategically taped up the suitcase at various points along the zipper. We used every last millimeter of tape on that roll. But, it worked! I could pick up the suitcase without it opening and spilling my clothes all over the floor.

The taxi arrived. We carefully put the suitcase in the trunk (like we were laying a newborn down in a bassinet) and drove to the airport. There, luckily, the ticket agents at Lufthansa airlines had another roll of tape. The 'groundforce' tape wasn't as sturdy and reliable as the black duct tape, but it certainly provided some 'shipping-tape' strength and added some necessary reinforcements to my busted suitcase.

I had to sign a waiver stating that I knew I was checking damaged/faulty luggage. The ticketing agent was laughing at me, rightfully so, as my luggage got weighed. I signed and watched my suitcase disappear on the conveyor belt. Would I ever see it again? Would I ever see the clothes packed inside it again?

Good news! It made it!!  In Chicago, that sad little Steve Madden triumphantly rolled out onto the baggage claim carousel and, believe it or not, it was still intact. The duct tape held and, despite considerable odds, my luggage made it all the way home from Madrid.

Sadly, that piece of luggage- which has traveled to Africa and Brazil and Scandinavia and all over Europe- is now resting peacefully in a landfill somewhere. Earlier this week, it was retired into my trash toter. I did manage to save the luggage tag though as a token of our love and travels. Rest in peace, my beloved Steve Madden.

But the lesson is now learned. I've heard for years that you can fix virtually anything with duct tape. You know what? Whomever said that wasn't wrong. From now on, anytime I travel, I will be packing a roll of duct tape in my suitcase- just in case of an emergency.