T Rav’s Ski Day Survival Guide
You may have noticed that this year's Ski Day festivities got moved up a little earlier in the schedule. So you may find yourself a little unprepared for the festivities this year. Not to worry. As a 5 year veteran of Ski Day, I think I can lend a little knowledge to help you prepare for this day.
Yes, you will be next to a large body of water. But I would not recommend drinking anything from it. No matter what you've seen Bear Grylls do, just stick to the bottled stuff. Sure you may take the alcohol route, but be forewarned it is hotter than the Devil's Taint on Ski Day. Hot weather and alcohol never mix well. So try to keep your body hydrated with some good ol' quality H20.
Sure he can't go to Afghanistan because there is a Towlie-Ban, but Towlie got one thing right. Don't forget to bring a towel. Things can get messy. If you're burning up, dip that towel in some of that bottled water you brought, and you got yourself some cheap AC. Wrap it around your head. Not only will you make a fashion statement, but you'll be the coolest person on the beach. According to temperature and not my Fonz-o-meter.
If you haven't been to a good ol' Ohio River beach, prepare yourself. Its not the pristine sand that you'll experience in Florida. Its very rocky, and very painful on the feet. If you can find water shoes, you're one step ahead. You'll want to keep your feet covered to prevent other things from hurting your footsies. So thong sandals aren't going to cut it. You'll thank me for this advice, when you can show up at work Monday and not feel like you just invaded Omaha Beach on D-Day.
As I said before, it will be hotter than the Devil's taint at Ski Day. It is every year. And the sun will be hovering right in your face all day. So your best bet is to protect your skin from the roasting. Choose whatever SPF you want, the higher the better, but I would select a spray on sun screen. It gives you an even coat, and you don't have to worry about trying to hit on chicks with a huge glob of sunscreen on your neck.
Nothing can ruin a good time like some DUI. So don't be stupid. Bring a sober friend who will see your goofy drunk ass home. If you're that sober friend, kudos! Just remember they totally owe you. If you plan on drinking, plan on giving someone else the keys. You don't want to have to spend money on bail because you're too stubborn to say 'No'.