We love sloths. There's no question. But we can't spend all day looking at them online-- sometimes we have to take a break to order food from Seamless or run a damp sponge over our body. Worse, sometimes we actually have to leave the apartment. To combat this, we've taken sloths and given them everyday jobs, so we can imagine the people we have to talk to are sloths while we're talking to them. That's normal, right?

Plus, it gives the sloth community a better reputation. They aren't sloth-ful, they're work-ful. (Yes, that's not a word. Look, sloths in people clothes!)

  • Sloth Barista

    Emerald Catron

    He'll make your coffee when he feels like it (probably never.)

  • Sloth Chef

    Emerald Catron

    Pioneering the slow foods movement. (GET IT?!)

  • Sloth Postman

    Emerald Catron

    Personally responsible for shutting down Saturday service.

  • Sloth Teacher

    Emerald Catron

    Turn in your term paper as late as you want!

  • Sloth Photographer

    Emerald Catron

    Hold that pose. For a long, long time.

  • Sloth Trucker

    Emerald Catron

    At least he doesn't speed down the highway.

  • Sloth Scientist

    Emerald Catron

    Probably studying the bacteria from his own fur.

  • Sloth Gardener

    Emerald Catron

    Grow flowers, then poop in them!

  • Sloth Secretary

    Emerald Catron

    The only possible reason 311 keeps us on hold for as long as they do.