By Mike Adams

If you’re planning on going out this weekend to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, allow me to give you some helpful hints to help you not look like an idiot.

Don’t Drink Green Beer!

Green beer is not an Irish tradition. It’s just dumb! Actually, most Irishmen find the act of drinking green beer to be despicable and offensive. Here in Evansville, Indiana you are more than likely safe from receiving any repercussions from such ignorance, but if you happen to be hanging out somewhere in New York or Boston, asking for green beer might get you’re a** kicked!

Seriously, if you can add food coloring to your beer and turn it green, it probably isn’t an acceptable brew by true Irish standards anyway. Now, I’m not a beer snob. I really wish I could afford to be, but the truth is I like to drink beer in large quantities. I am one of these guys who feels quantity is always better than quality. Unfortunately this has gotten me into a lot more trouble in life than I care to admit. With that being said, there is nothing wrong with drinking cheap beer if that is all that is in your budget…as long as you don’t ask for it in any other color then what it was originally brewed as. Again, green beer is dumb!

Eating Corned Beef and Cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day is like eating a Loco Taco on Cinco De Mayo

Ok, well maybe it’s not quite that bad. It’s just not a traditional Irish meal. Corned Beef and Cabbage is the Americanized version. The Irish ate Bacon and Cabbage. Irish food is simple because it is the food of the poor. There are typically only a few ingredients involved in traditional Irish food. So be leery of Irish recipes that use a lot of spices and ingredients. Beef was traditionally only eaten by the rich. Regular people just didn’t have much access to meat, but when they did it was typically pork. A lot of their pork was made into bacon because of storage limitations on fresh meat. It wasn’t until the 19th century when Irish immigrants found beef to be affordable in America. Yet, pork is still the preferred meat.

To eat corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day doesn’t make you an idiot like drinking that repugnant green beer. It’s hard to find pubs in the Evansville area that do serve traditional Irish food. Although, you can find a really good Corned Beef & Cabbage at The Gerst Haus – 2100 West Franklin Street, Evansville, Indiana. I know it’s a German restaurant, but aside from looking like a real idiot and celebrating St. Patrick’s Day at one of the trendy pseudo pubs Downtown, The Gerst Haus is really your best option. Plus they have a really nice selection of cheap beer as well as plenty of the good stuff for all of you beer snobs.

So there it is my friends. Go out and have a great time without looking like an idiot. You’re welcome! Until next time… May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always strong.
And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead.