Today, a movie that, on the surface, resembles a rom-com, but isn’t a rom-com (there are no rom-coms any longer) titled ‘The Other Woman’ is playing at the multiplex down the street from you right now. Cameron Diaz (‘Shrek 2’) stars as Carly, a single, independent woman living in New York City who is dating Mark (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) – but Mark has a secret! Is Mark cheating on Carly? Is Mark secretly the Kingslayer? As a service to you, we answer every question that you could possibly have about ‘The Other Woman’?

Q: Does Cameron Diaz play the Other Woman?

A: Diaz plays Carly, who certainly could be considered the Other Woman, depending on whose perspective we are viewing this from.

Q: From Carly’s perspective, who is the Other Woman?

A: In this case, the Other Woman would be Kate (Leslie Mann), who is the wife of Mark, the man Carly is currently in a relationship with.

Q: Is Mark just an average guy who fooled around a little on the side?

A: Mark is a very, very successful man and has very little in common with the protagonist in Ray Parker Jr.’s song, ‘The Other Woman.’

Q: How does Carly find out about Mark’s wife?

A: As a surprise, she shows up at his Connecticut home and, instead, meets his wife, Kate.

Q: What’s the lesson of all of this?

A: If you live in New York City, never date a man who owns a house in Connecticut.

Q: Do Kate and Carly become adversaries?

A: Kate later confronts Carly about her relationship with Mark, to which Carly – feeling duped as well – admits everything. The two wind up teaming up in an effort to exact revenge on Mark.

Q: Does Mark have a fake gold hand?

A: In real life, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau has both of his hands, as opposed to his ‘Game of Thrones’ counterpart.

Q: After Carly and Kate team up, what do they discover?

A: Soon, they find out that Mark has been cheating n the both of them with Amber (Kate Upton). And, yes, she soon joins their revenge club.

Q: This sounds like an interesting movie with a theme of empowerment behind it. Hey, by any chance is there a scene in which a character is given laxatives, then aggressively defecates on a toilet while making a funny face?

A: You are in luck.

Q: Is this scene better or worse than the scene in which Jeff Daniels doing the exact same thing in 1994’s ‘Dumb and Dumber’?

A: Boy, it’s really hard to compare such nuanced performances here, but it’s tough to go against Harry Dunne.

Q: How many times does Leslie Mann vomit during ‘The Other Woman’?

A: Once for sure, the other time is questionable.

Q: Is this a homage to her vomiting performance in ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’?

A: I’m going to pretend that somehow it is.

Q: In ‘The Other Woman,’ do we watch a dog while he’s pooping?

A: Yes.

Q: For a movie with such interesting themes, there seems to be a lot of bodily fluid on display.

A: [Sigh] … yeah.

Q: Will I see blood, too?

A: Yes. Yes, you will.

Q: Is Mark presented as the worst possible human on Earth?

A: Well, his actions are pretty indefensible – and they go much deeper than just cheating on his wife…

Q: Like when he pushed Bran Stark out of a window?

A: Again, Mark has very little to do with Jaime Lannister (at least that we know of). But, when Mark’s on camera, he’s very charming. At times I found myself wanting to be his friend. Which is pretty much the most realistic thing about this movie.

Q: Would someone like Mark ever be friends with you?

A: Oh, god no.

Q: How is Mark’s charm the most realistic thing about ‘The Other Woman’?

A: Often, in movies like this, the unfaithful party – man or woman – is presented as such an awful human, it’s impossible to think that any reasonable person would want to spend time with him or her, let alone be married to him or her. At least with Mark we can see why someone would want to spend time with him.

Q: Is Nicki Minaj in this movie for no real reason?

A: Yes.

Q: Is Don Johnson in this movie for no real reason?

A: Yes.

Q: Does Don Johnson seem to enjoy being in ‘The Other Woman’?

A: Every time Johnson is on-screen, he has that “I can’t wait to build ‘The Other Woman’ wing of my beach house” look on his face.

Q: Is there a lot more pratfall type-humor in ‘The Other Woman’ than anyone would ever assume?

A: Strangely, yes. At one point, We watch a character walk smack into a glass wall – twice!

Q: Should I not see ‘The Other Woman’?

A: It’s not a complete disaster. But it’s just disappointing because there really seemed to be a solid message behind this movie, but you just have to wade through all of the literal s--- and vomit to get to that message.

Q: If you’re going to be blurbed in this weekend’s commercials for ‘The Other Woman,’ what quote do you hope is used?

A: “Behind all the s--- and vomit, there seems to be a message!” Mike Ryan,

Mike Ryan is the senior editor of ScreenCrush. You can contact him directly on Twitter.

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