During the country's biggest sporting even, there isn't much time for bathroom breaks and beer runs. And thanks to Facebook, DVR is out of the question. So most men choose to tough it out until halftime.

This year I watched most of the commercials online, so I was able to bring you a minute-by-minute analysis of this year's Super Bowl halftime show. I watched it, so you didn't have to. Note taking was also done by Chynna, so lets be sure to thank her as well. Enjoy!

00:00 - Oh look that Persian guy from 300 is at Lucas Oil Stadium.

00:25 - Is that Mick Jagger? Were we tricked in to suffering through the Rolling Stones again? Nope, its Madonna.

00:40 - Her mic looks like a vicious cold sore.

01:05 - I imagine this is how Oprah arrives at work.

01:15 - Do a lot of 50 year old women own boots like that?

01:57 - You're 50 Madonna. NO!

02:10 - Highlight on that guy's resume, "Madonna rode my back at the Super Bowl."

03:10 - Bleachers? What is this High School Musical: Geriatric Edition.

03:15 - We just saw you fall Madonna, how dare you make mistakes like the rest of us.

04:20 - Dear Bob Ross's Son, Why do you punish your genital region so much?

04:45 - And here they are, this year's one hit wonder! You'll forget they were here by next Super Bowl.

04:50 - The smell off her crotch is so terrible it's making their head's tremble.

4:55 - Sir you have menopausal lady crotch on your neck.

5:25 - First you vogue, now you shuffle. I can only handle one dance craze at a time.

6:22 - Cheerleaders, my High School Musical assessment was right.

6:40 - You worry about nip slips and invite Nicki Minaj?

7:30 - Hi, Madonna. Love is not spelled LUV. Thanks, English Teachers Across America.

7:50 - Well nipslips are the last concern, when MIA is flipping birds.

7:55 - Sorry NBC, too late on that edit, the bird has already flown.

8:50 - Lets bring it back to the old school, Marching bands.

9:00 - If Cee-Lo was the drum major when I was in school, I would've enjoyed pep assemblies more.

9:27 - Whoa...how much did I drink. The numbers on the field are wobbling.

9:45 - Yep, there goes the field under the stage. I saw this in the Dark Knight Rises trailer.

10:00 - Choir robes or snuggies, you decide.

10:19 - Who put Cee-lo in a trash bag?

10:35 - Madonna looks like a Darth Vader reject.

11:48 - Good lord Cee-lo has some tiny hands!

11:52 - Someone help Madonna she's having a seizure.

12:27 - We have defeated Darth Madonna!

12:34 - World Peace indeed.