A few years ago, when Chuck Norris jokes littered the internet, I was confused as to how that fad had skipped over another American legend. Steven Seagal has been giving me the creeps well before I had any idea who Gary Busey was. To this day, I sometimes fear that Steven Seagal is hiding in my room, so I flip on the lights real quick to make sure he is not there.

This isn't going to help me sleep any better. Seagal is in some hot water for crashing in to some dude's home, in an armored vehicle, and killing the dude's puppy. Right? A freaking puppy. Puppy-killer Seagal was filming this entire incident for his TV show, ‘Steven Seagal: Lawman.’

The home's owner, Jesus Llovera, was target by Maricopa County Sherriff Joe Arpaio. Yep that guy. Arpaio claims Llovera was running an illegal cockfighting ring. That's right Jesus and the puppy, ran an illegal cockfighting ring.

Llovera claims he was raising the chickens found during the raid, for show. However Steven Seagal felt one puppy wasn't enough, and he had 100 chickens euthanized. So it pretty much goes without saying, Llovera is suing Seagal for compensation. He is also asking for personal handwritten note from Seagal to his children, apologizing for killing their puppy. Why not edge your bets, and ask for apologies for his last few movies.

Uh oh, I've been targeted.