In Defense of the Red Cup

There's been a lot of hullabaloo the past week about a certain coffee chain's new holiday cups and people seem to have a lot of anger toward the change. Here are some reasons why you should calm the heck down...

A bit of a recap for those of you not familiar with the "controversy"...Starbucks has holiday cups around this time of year. These cups usually have Christmas and winter themes like snowflakes, snowmen, ornaments, christmas trees, and/or inspirational phrases. This year, however, they introduced their traditional "red cups" as just that, red cups. No glittery designs, snowflakes, or Christmas adornments. Just a red cup.

So, naturally, everybody pooped their Pampers and threw a temper tantrum because apparently we don't handle change very well.

*sigh* So, once again, I must put on my mom jeans and sit you all down in the living room to have a "talk".

First of all: IT'S A CUP. The size has not changed. The price has not changed. The material it is made of has not changed. The caffeinated beverage inside the cup has not changed. You are complaining about a lack of fancy glitter on a cup. Do you know who complains about a lack of shiny things in their possession? Toddlers.

Some people are saying that removing the Christmas designs from the cup is an attack on Christianity. Ah, yes, because the snowman is such a Christian symbol that we relate with Jesus' birth. Who could forget the Three Snowmen who came to gift the baby Jesus with coal buttons, snow balls, and frostbite?

How? How is this an attack? They didn't remove the Christmas designs and replace them with Satanist symbols and have "JESUS IS A LIE" in big bold letters on the side. No one is attacking you. In fact, YOU are the one attacking and making a big deal out of this.

And also, might I remind those that are using the "it's an attack on Christianity" excuse, that even though Christmas is associated with the birth of Christ, almost all aspects of Christmas are just a combination of other religious practices that occurred around the same time in the year. I mean, the Christmas Tree wasn't called a "Christmas Tree" until about the 17th century in Germany. Before that, the act of bringing a tree indoors and decorating it was a midwinter pagan practice and is a no-no according to the Bible:

“Thus says the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cuts a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not." - Jeremiah 10:2-4

and

"Go and proclaim these words toward the north and say, 'Return, faithless Israel,' declares the LORD; 'I will not look upon you in anger. For I am gracious,' declares the LORD; 'I will not be angry forever. 'Only acknowledge your iniquity, That you have transgressed against the LORD your God And have scattered your favors to the strangers under every green tree, And you have not obeyed My voice,' declares the LORD." - Jeremiah 3:12-13

And Catholics in Rome didn't start to celebrate Christmas until the 4th century. Before then it was just a winter solstice celebration. And gift giving at Christmas wasn't a thing until the 19th century. People usually gave gifts as a way to start the new year, but somewhere between 1800-1850 gift giving shifted to Christmas.

Second of all: Christmas isn't the only holiday in December. You are aware that not everyone celebrates Christmas, right? Hanukkah? Mawlid Un Nabi? Kwanzaa? Ramadan? These all happen in December too. I never heard anyone bitching about not having a "Kwanzaa cup" at Starbucks.

Third of all: This minimalist cup should be seen as a good thing! It's essentially a blank canvas! DOODLE ON IT! You want it to be a Christmas cup? Draw Christmas things on it! Tell the barista your name is Kris Kringle! Did you actually have a secret inner rage that you never had a Kwanzaa cup? Make it one!

The minimalist red cup gives you the freedom to make it whatever kind of cup you want!

Lastly: Christmas, no matter where its roots came from, is known as the "Season of Giving", not the "Season of Complaining and Throwing a Fit Whenever You Don't Get What You Want."

And just as a reminder: IT. IS. A. CUP. and YOU are an ADULT. You are a grown ass adult complaining about a cup. You do know there are wars and starvation in other countries right? Paris had a terrorist attack the other day, you could be using your time and energy to help out with that. But NO, the world needs to stop because YOU didn't get sparkles on your liquid crack container this year. Boo-hoo.

Grow. Up.
(And that's coming from someone with a Peter Pan complex. Under no circumstances do I ever tell people to grow up. In fact, I advocate not growing up. But I'm bending the rules for you. That's how stupid you're being.)

Now go to your room, sit down, shut up, and drink your damn coffee.