We all do embarrassing things as teenagers growing up. Unfortunately for me, one of those embarrassing things still haunts me to this day.


We all have a "first" e-mail account. You might still use the first one you made. But for me, growing up in the 'information age', means that I made my first e-mail address when I was 13. It was the cool thing to do! Yeah, you had AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) to talk to friends after school, but only the coolest of the cool had an e-mail address. Which, in retrospect, was way slower than AIM. If you wanted to talk to someone on AIM...you just talked to them. Instant responses if they were online. E-mail? You sent it. And you waited. And you waited. And then you waited some more. And then when your friend finally checked they're e-mail 3 days later you'd get a response to your "Hey are you busy?" [Sent 3 days ago]. But if you did get a response you were so excited. You were like "Look at me. Having adult conversations on the internet. With my adult e-mail and adult friends." We were 13. We were not adults having adult conversations. We were kids using snail mail to look cool.


So, if you were an actual adult with an actual job that required you to start using e-mail when it first became available, you might still have that e-mail address today. Me? I was a 13 year old kid. My e-mail address was far from professional.


So what was my genius e-mail?


*Because I still have accounts online linked to this e-mail (which I super regret now, as an adult) I have to omit some parts. But regardless, it is awful.






I HAVE ACCOUNTS I STILL USE LINKED TO THIS E-MAIL. This thing haunts me every day.


Why "I_Killed_Kenny####"? Well, first off "iKilledKenny" was already taken. Hence the underscores. And "I_Killed_Kenny" was ALSO taken, so I got mad and punched my keyboard to have numbers on the end. Seriously. Those numbers have no significance to me. They aren't my street address numbers, my birthday year, none of that. Just four random numbers.


Secondly, South Park was really popular with 13 year-olds at the time (and still is). It was so cool if you watched South Park because it had "adult humor" and super dirty jokes. If your parents let you watch it, you were so cool. If you watched it without your parents knowing? You were the COOLEST of the COOL. And as everyone knows, one of the most iconic phrases of South Park is "Oh my god! They killed Kenny! You bastards!"




So, me, being the egotistical 13 year-old I was thought "Hey, what if I was the one who killed Kenny? What if I was the one they were talking about? I would be SO COOL if I killed Kenny."


And now, over a decade later, even though I have an actual professional e-mail account now, I_Killed_Kenny#### still follows me. It's linked to certain store accounts and websites that I still frequent today.


So what did I learn from this horrible mistake? You can get rid of, or hide embarrassing photos of yourself as a teenager. You can even swear your friends to secrecy regarding embarrassing stories about yourself. But pubescent e-mail addresses will haunt you forever.

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