There are a lot of ways your mom can screw you up later in life, but at least she never drowned you because she thought your junk was too small. A woman in Indonesia drowned her son because she believed that his wiener was so small that he was doomed.

She told police investigators that she killed him as he would have a bleak future with his small penis," Rikwanto said.

"She drowned her son in a bathtub filled with water. She then dressed him and laid him on a bed. After that, she went to a nearby police office to report her crime."

This is so horrifying. Other than the obvious tragedy, the kid's mom looked at his johnson. A lot. Then, she evaluated it to the point where she thought he had no hope. You just know that prior to her criminal actions, she had a discussion with her friends about this topic, probably at whichever salon crazy people who discuss their children's genetalia go to get their hair done.

What if Mommie Dearest was a size queen? Maybe she was farsighted and some bifocals would have made all the difference? Or, perhaps she's just b-a-n-a-n-a-s crazy. Indeed, the authorities in Indonesia have ordered a mental evaluation. Hopefully, they don't spend too much time on this one.

One thing's for sure, you need to go hug your mom. Even if she walked in on you while you were 'discovering' your favorite website, got kinky with your dad loud enough for your friends to hear or told embarrassing stories about you to girlfriends, she didn't kill you because you had a tiny wee-wee.