brandon kaelin

In the first installment of brutal bands by Brandon K, I mentioned my favorite band, The Acacia Strain, fronted by the brilliant and only remaining original member, the heart and soul of the band, Vincent Bennett. They're my favorite metal band...not sure if I made that clear. THE ACACIA STRAIN...MY FAVORITE. I also featured bands called The Last 10 Seconds of Life and I Declare War. All brutal, d

You know what I don't like? Puke.

It's not porn, you perverts. Or drugs, or anything so peculiar or strange it could be featured with those weirdos on TLC that eat mattress pads, drink their own pee or give themselves coffee enemas.

It started like this: I'm sleeping peacefully and still in my bed, dreaming of something I can't quite remember. But this foul smell perverts my dream...why? God, the smell is awful. Why in the hell is this nasal assault in my dream? Suddenly I jar...and the real nightmare begins.

This is a total fanboy post. Anyone that's ever seen the show Workaholics on Comedy Central knows who Maribeth Monroe's character Alice Murphy is...THE BOSS. She once told her hilariously dazed employee Blake Henderson "I'm going to eat your balls for breakfast tomorrow."

I recently talked about three awesome metal bands that exuded brutality in it it's finest form. Now, I'll talk about three terrible bands that exude aural brutality in it's worst form.

People get arrested all the time. Sometimes they are missing clothes. WHY?

I like a variety of music. I go from alternative to Witch House. But I especially love brutal metal music. The kind of punishing, growling music that grinds and chugs with riffs and blast beats and angry vocals that kick in your rib cage like Jean-Claude Van Damme did to all those Kumite clowns in Bloodsport...

How about a good old fashioned gross out post people? Let's turn some stomachs. That's metal right?

Check out this sweet ass truck! This beauty was parked front row as I came out of the grocery store on the North side of Evansville the other day.

Pussy cat, pussy cat, where are you? Get your mind out of the gutter, perverts, I'm talking felines.

Hello GBF! My name is Brandon and I'm new here. I've been plucked from online obscurity to entertain you without cursing profusely and keeping the boobs and butts conversation to a minimum.