Dear City Council/Deaconess Health System/Nut Club/whoever the hell this needs to go to,
I got beef, and I don't want my Fall Festival next year to offer any option where I can have a lack there of.
It's the end of the world! What are you going to do? Just pull out your handy-dandy Time Machine.
What do you mean 'your Time Machine is busted'? Well, if it's anything like my grandma's old bunny-eared TV set all you have to do is smack it a few times and it should be fine. I mean, what could possibly go wrong, right? ...right?
