T Rav’s Rockstar Demands
In case you aren’t aware, a “Rider” is an agreement that “the talent” (the band) has with a show promoter (the place hosting their concert). Its a fancy way of saying a “list of demands”. The rider usually specifies electrical needs, stage set up, and among other things backstage entertainment.
While the band will remain nameless, I have seen a list that required a “family-sized” box of condoms backstage. You know, “family” fun. There are also rumors of bands not allowing brown M&M’s backstage.
Usually the “brown M&M” thing was added to make sure promoters were actually reading the rider.
So that got me thinking. If I ever become an internet celebrity, I’m going to need a list of ridiculous demands. That way I know if they have read all of my demands.
1) Every flavor of Gatorade, except purple. Its gross. Each flavor should be represented in a mini-fridge that has gold plating.
2) Potatoe Ole’s from Taco Johns with nacho cheese. And those suckers better be fresh. Delivered on horseback by Chuck Norris.
3) Stride Gum. No exceptions. I’m trying to quit smoking, and this gum really helps. Each piece delivered by a different member of the Pussycat Dolls (they aren’t working much anyway).
4) Sailor Jerry. Captain Morgan. Jack Daniels. These guys need backstage clearance no matter what. Consider them part of my clique. The bottles will be held by staff who will assume those names for the night.
5) Xbox 360 With Kinect. I can rock out some Kinect Adventures before I go do what ever makes me famous. My partner can be the current CEO of Apple, so I can ask him where the Apple gaming device is.
6) A “vertically-challenged” person wearing a sombrero that doubles as a chip and dip holder. I heard this happens in Cancun.
7) Red Vines by the bucket. Screw Twizzlers! No twist on this one, its just hard to find Red Vines in the ‘ville.
I guess my partial rider isn’t as crazy as I thought it would be. For instance Lady Gaga demands that her personal chef have 24-hour access to the hotel kitchen. 3 AM pizza rolls? No problem, want a 3 course meal with that?
What are your rockstar demands? The crazier the better. Leave them below or post them to my Twitter @TRavOn103GBF with the hashtag #RockstarDemands.