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T Rav’s Ode To The Gravatron Carnie

dylancantwell / Flickr

Its officially summer and that usually means you’re going to be invited to every festival, fair, or any other event involving high fat foods and carnival rides. Today I want to honor the most bad-ass guy at any ‘ride’ area. The Gravatron Carnie. 

Here’s To You Gravatron Carnie,

Sure you were offended the first time you saw the cover of ‘Joe Dirt‘ and noticed the uncanny resemblance, but you don’t care and you let that mullet flow. Your voice booms over the ride’s sound system and even though I didn’t realize it as a child, its hard to distinguish you from a strip club DJ.

Something I didn’t understand as a youngster is the perks of the job. Finding loose change that fell out of pockets and the occasional flash from some drunk chick who can’t control her shirt. But there are some pitfalls to the job as well, cleaning up that drunk chick’s vomit and that whole ‘Joe Dirt resemblance’ being pointed out.

But I write this ode to you today to express my appreciation of your song choices. Growing up in the whole ‘mid-90s-Boyband’ stain in music, you decided to buck the trend. You stuck to the rock. Sure it was easy to play some Backstreet Boys crap for the 900th time, but you wanted to rock everyone out with Metallica. Then you followed that up with some Red Hot Chili Peppers. And the real icing on the cake was a ride while Nirvana was playing.

So here is my thanks. You thought you had us when you started walking on the walls mid-ride, but you really had my appreciate at the opening motorcycles to ‘Girls Girls Girls’. Stay true and keep rocking, you bad-ass ************. Rock the mullet!

Sincerely,

 

T Rav

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