New Year's Eve Party: Who Barfed?

We partied hard, well, as hard as four middle-aged 30 somethings and three cats could party playing adult card games on New Year's Eve.

Red and I went to Mike and Natalia's house to celebrate the holiday. We started the night off by gorging on hot wings, along with the abundance of beer and wine that Mike and I made our personal mission to drink. We were planning on getting slurring our words slaughtered. Blitzed with shitty headaches the next day that kept us from being productive or contributing to our family activities. We drank with dinner, we drank while playing the hilariously inappropriate game Cards Against Humanity and we drank when we ate our traditional staple, Natalia's famous taco dip.

Then we drank and drank some more. Beers and beers and a huge bottle of wine and more beers and beers. Someone partied too hard, and someone was hurting the next morning...BAD. It wasn't Mike, it wasn't me. Red had one beer and Natalia didn't drink. It was...

REX, the f*king cat! Mike and Natalia's favorite cat of mine to be exact. He partied harder than any of us. He was full of piss and vinegar slinging the Christmas bow we gave him around the house with his big blown pupils.

I caught him sniffing around my beer a few times and when Mike abandoned his plate of taco dip momentarily, Rex snuck in and was nose deep in dip before he could be stopped, slurping it up at lightning speed.

Then New Year's morning came and this happened....total disaster:

First he regurgitated a long piece of what appears to be yarn. Then total DEFCON shit:

Rex's butthole exploded on Natalia's side of the bed. She was displeased. This has to be the end right? Wrong! The taco dip wasn't done turning Rex's guts inside out:

Natalia's famous dip resembling dijon mustard squirted on their couch. Mike and I didn't even have hangovers, yet Rex was expelling out of both ends like a Super Soaker. By the end of the evening, Natalia said he'd regained his moxie and was back to not shitting or puking on things in their house.

Overall, it was a pretty dope New Year's Eve to end 2015. Besides Rex blowing up everywhere, the only other casualty from partying was a paper cut Natalia received from one of the Cards Against Humanity cards.

She survived with minimal blood loss.

Hopefully, readers, all of your New Year's Eve celebrations were just as awesome or more sick than ours. Feel free to comment below and share any craziness that you bore witness to or experienced first hand.

Oh, one more thing...what did you guys think of Jenny McCarthy on Dick Clark's Dead New Year's Eve show? B*tch looked like an alien! Damn, could her face get any tighter? And that hair...she's a hot mess. Hotter than all the messes Rex made.