Pooping Dogs are Hilarious, Until they Lock Eyes with You and Things Get Weird

Most days when my wife doesn't come home on her lunch break, it's up to me to let her big yellow dog out to do his business before I head off to work second shift. I pop open the door to his crate and we traverse through the house to the back door. I open the door and he bounds out to the yard to do his business. And then, he CREEPS me out.

Every single time I let him out and he's doing number one or two, he looks back at me waiting in the open doorway, and locks eyes with me. Not just a casual gaze in my direction---full on, his pupils locked to mine without a single flinch. Laser beams.

Luckily, I snapped a picture for you all to see. Here he is, having a bout of the Hershey squirts in front of my garage (directly behind him you see the bare spot where he dug up my plants and ripped apart my landscaping). His eyes are locked on mine like two guided missiles. WTF man! What is he thinking? Is this a domination thing? Perhaps he's thinking, yes, watch me you bastard, while I defile your yard. Soon you'll be running your lawnmower over all of my messes. How do you like this shit...literally?

I'm not going to be the one to break eye contact, that's for damn sure. Thus far, neither one of us have budged. It's been eyes locked, 100 percent of the time. I refuse to cower to her big yellow dog and tap out in the ongoing staring contest of disgust. Game on dog.

Am I the only one with an animal that does this? Do any of you have animals that lock eyes with you at the most awkward of moments? Let me know if I'm not alone in the handy dandy comment section.