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My Anti-Bucket List – S**t I ‘Won’t’ Do Before I Kick the Bucket!

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I got inspired after reading the GQ article “50 Things a Man Does Not Have to Do Before He Dies“, to put together an abbreviated list in the same vein,

So, here are five things I won’t do before I die:

1. Go to a Taylor Swift concert. To me, she is all that is wrong with music. People sometimes complain about Nickelback being overly commercial, processed and lacking substance. Taylor Swift adjusts her style to fit the format, which means she writes for commerciality only and that means she is nearly devoid of art. Taylor Swift makes Nickelback look like Mozart!

2. Get a genital piercing. I have had lots of things pierced, including my nipples. Currently I have eyebrow, nose, lip, ear lobes and atragus piercing. Prince Albert can stay in the can. I am dumbfounded why and man would get such a piercing. They say it feels good to your partner. If that’s true, and you need a piece of metal in your shlong…then you ain’t got no skills in bed my friend.

3. Wear Abercrombie, Hollister, Gap, Aeropostale, Polo, American Eagle, Gap or any other preppy-ass mall brand. I’ve also, aside from a wedding or two, haven’t worn a tie since I was in high school. Radio is a great career if you like getting free t-shirts and wearing them!

4. I won’t try to grow hair. I shave me head every day for a reason. If I’d let my hair really grow out, I’d look like Gallagher. Someone please, give me a sledge and a watermelon!

5. Watch a Tyler Perry movie. Only Black people think he’s funny and that in turn is ironic as some of my all time favorite comedians are African American. Tyler Perry makes Carrot Top look like a comic genius.

There’s my short list of things I “WON’T” do before I die. What about yours?

Read the GQ article that inspired this by clicking here!

 

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