Wimpy has been defined as “timid, weak and/or ineffectual,” and I think the new paper towel dispensers here at 103GBF fall into that category. I realize that I am probably being a little dramatic, but at this point in my life it’s the little things that make me feel this way.

Let me first explain why the topic of paper towel dispensers is even being brought up. Ya’ see, this video/post would not have happened a few months ago – because back then we had good old fashioned paper towels, the kind you pull out yourself. But in an effort to save a few bucks (which is understandable), our building now has automatic paper towel dispensers. I guess it really does make sense to make the change. Seems like you are less likely to waste paper towels with these new dispensers, and I get that. I’m not here to debate whether or not it was a good decision - I am simply here to make fun of these wimpy devices.

So what makes it so wimpy? It’s a combination of two things – the sound it makes while dispensing a paper towel, and the actual paper “towel” being dispensed.

We’re all familiar with a device similar to this one. You wave your hand in front of the magic eye and it decides how much paper you need to dry your hand. I have encountered many varieties over the years, but I’m not sure I’ve ever heard one that sounds so puny. Watch the video and you’ll see that it kinda sounds like it is whining...like it really doesn't want to give me a paper towel. It reminds me of when I have to ask my kids over and over again to do some simple task – when they finally agree with one of those “fiiiiinnnnne” comebacks. Those with kids know what I’m talking about. And to refer to the product coming out as any kind of “towel” is certainly using the term lightly. The product becomes almost completely transparent with the introduction of the smallest amount of liquid. You’ll see.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I think the devices are haunted, or possessed, or at least crazy? Yeah, seems like the sensor on the front doesn’t work unless you actually put your palm ON the device, or the complete opposite and will dispense when no one is anywhere near the sensor. Spooky.