For All You Metal Heads – Here are Three Bands to Watch [Brandon’s Bands of Brutality]

I like a variety of music. I go from alternative to Witch House. But I especially love brutal metal music. The kind of punishing, growling music that grinds and chugs with riffs and blast beats and angry vocals that kick in your rib cage like Jean-Claude Van Damme did to all those Kumite clowns in Bloodsport. The kind of music that makes you want to punch people in face, like Dying Fet...(wait, not PG-13), and Torsofuc...(still not PG-13) and Corpsefuc... Art (uhhh..shit). So I can't mention those bands, but here are three I can mention. Don't get your panties in a wad, music snobs, these are just three of my favorites that I'm currently listening to, and that I think are brutal as fu... umm, crap.

THE ACACIA STRAIN

These guys will always be up at the top of my list. Vincent Bennet murders as the vocalist and currently only original member. They've been around since 2001 and I hope they're around forever. This band bashes in skulls and splays intestines on the streets like the conceptually cool but disappointingly executed Purge movies. Skynet and their nearly 28 minute magnum opus Observer are the cream of the crop for me. Total tits. This band defines brutal.

THE LAST TEN SECONDS OF LIFE

I just recently discovered these guys. They've been around since 2010. I don't know much about them besides their vocalist is named Storm and their latest LP Soulless Hymns is like a sledgehammer to the nut sack swung by 80's era Conan the Barbarian played by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Total testicle decimation.

I DECLARE WAR

This band is fronted by Jamie Hanks, Tom Hanks' cousin, or not...I have no idea. They've been around since 2005, but pretty much have an entirely new lineup. Hanks, with the band since 2010, gnarls like a possessed Linda Blair with a microphone and it sounds dope as F. This shit will knock the pea soup right out of you.