In a couple of new promotional spots for his September 19 Comedy Central Roast, Charlie Sheen is cast as the conductor of the Roast Express, a crazy train loaded with silicon-injected goddesses and visualizations of some of Sheen’s notorious catch phrases (“winning,” anyone?).

The train makes stops in Goddess Harbor and Tiger Valley, but when one babe asks if Normalville is on the route, Sheen quips that “we left there a long time ago.”

In another of the spots, Sheen taunts his future roasters by claiming that roasting him is “like trying to duct tape the wind to the ground.”

Watch Charlie Sheen have some fun with being Charlie Sheen, below:

[via AOL TV]