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Emerald Catron

Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
ferret
YouTube
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Man Buys Poodles, Discovers They’re Actually Ferrets on Steroids

This is not a joke. A man at the largest outdoor bazaar in Buenos Aires bought two toy poodles from a vendor for $150 each. Only he didn't actually buy two poodles. He actually bought two ferrets that were hopped up on steroids and given fancy hairdos so they would look like poodles.

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Category: Animals, Humor, Weird News Tags:
goldblum
YouTube
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‘Jurassic Park 3D’ Gets an Honest Trailer

You know, we're going to forgive these guys for referring to the great Sam Neill as "The Guy From 'Jurassic Park'" (have they really never seen 'Omen III: End of Days'????). Because this latest honest trailer from the folks at Screen Junkies is funny. And also because of their extended shot of shirtless 'Jurassic Park'-era Jeff Goldblum posing sexily with his blouse unbuttoned. Yeah, it's a blouse. Look at it.

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Category: Humor, Movies
peeps drinks
Miami New Times / Endless Simmer
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9 Tasty Peeps Cocktails That’ll Help You Forget Easter

It's Easter weekend, and we all know what that means -- time to eat some ham and get your crunk on. We've always said if you aren't risking an insulin coma, you aren't really drinking, so here are some Peeps-themed cocktails to prove you love Easter but hate your body. Enjoy (to a point, then feel really sick a

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Category: Humor Tags: ,
fresh prince dog
YouTube
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Here’s the Dog Version of ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ You Didn’t Know You Were Asking For

Here it is. Concrete proof that 'The Secret' is real. It's a dog-themed version of the song from 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.' You know, that thing we've all been secretly wishing existed for since forever. Now it exists. Thanks, 'The Secret.' And also Pet Collectiv

thumbs up
Thumbs and Ammo
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Thumbs Not Guns in Movies Courtesy of Tumblr

We're going to take a moment to pretend we live in a world where these are movies that were actually made. The blog Thumbs and Ammo is comprised exclusively of stills taken from violent movies. Only the guns have been replaced with one or both thumbs up. Does this mean they were all comedies? Maybe just heartwarming tales of affirmation? Either way, they're hilarious.

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Category: Humor, Movies
insane clown posse gang
Carlo Allegri, Getty Images
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FBI Was Really Serious When It Labeled Juggalos a Gang

Remember when the FBI included Juggalos in their National Gang Threat Assessment, thus effectively labeling the rabid followers of the clown rock band the Insane Clown Posse a gang? It turns out, they were mostly trying to bust the Juggalos for racketeering. It had *nothing* to do with their terrible outfits.

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Category: Music, Weird News

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