6 Ways This Basketball Fan Can Recover From Getting Caught Picking His Nose On TV
There must be something in that Pacific Northwest air.
During the New York Knicks-Portland Trail Blazers game on Thursday night, a fan decided to do a little digging for gold while he sat behind commentators Kevin Harlan and Chris Webber. He seems to be aware the camera is on him and must’ve been proud of his boogery bounty because he winked after he finished.
Good for him. Most people would be mortified if all of America had seen them jamming their fingers so far up their nose it reached their cerebellum. So, with that in mind, here are some tips to keep in mind to help you recover after you’ve been caught picking your nose:
If you chow down on your nose goblins, that’s what people will talk about. No one will be concerned with the fact you picked, first. That’s just the appetizer for the main course of the story.
Fake a seizure
People will feel badly for you. It worked for Larry on ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ when he faked a heart attack to weasel his way out of an ugly confrontation.
Pretend to choke on it
Along the lines of faking a seizure, this is a good way to generate sympathy and concern from people who would ordinarily mock you.
Just slip someone near you a buck or two. You’re no longer the guy who got busted picking your nose; you’re the local philanthropist. Who doesn’t love someone who gives away money?
Sing the national anthem
Yes, you’re a gross human being, but now you’re a gross human being who oozes patriotism, which is an admirable quality.
Drop your pants
This’ll get the focus off your honker, for sure. **NOTE: Only do this if you’re wearing underwear. You don’t want to go from nose picker to indecent exposure in front of millions in a matter of minutes.
What would you do if you were caught picking your nose? Leave ideas in the comments.